this is candy

she's having candy 

for dinner

white puff

down the hole

disappears
9 million year old
has candy for dinner
1 25
year old
having a hot
subway
ride home

30 second mountain climbers
shower bleach it hangs a towel

            smells
shirtless espresso underwear smoke
window rainy outdoor stoop boxer
pantless setups ridiculous paid time off
hereafter known as labor day
the sky falls in pieces
into my coffee mug
sip sip! lightly sauteed tomatoes
bacon grease dressing
garlic garlic never enough garlic
and so what about it
i'll meet for a coffee if you say so
and if you believe the rain isn't
an obstacle

bon apple credit
dig in dig in, to a halfway
filled ashtray
aloe plant and mountain cactus
solar powered daisy toy
waves good morning
in the dark of an office
100 computers rot
blinking at each other

sd
semi interesting project
she has bestowed upon me
until i hear  o more
expressway has a warm floor
ever felt it with yr cheek?
  or the ceiling
of the comcast center
i rub my toes against
the underside of my wooden desk
and feel a bump
as i exhale

beb is chubby and she doesn't like being chubby
i say she is not chubby
pinching and kneading her lovable chub
and nuzzling that chub
and then i get up to check
on the jambalaya

Songs L,M,N,O,P

I'd never write to you again
rolling backward, frost

a flame of my labor
wings swung, and the lamest
grey eyes crowding, in them lost
many men taught me, many beggars
penny penny lost, oh, god
jokingly i would just say
like, go to, um that fridge
get me a good humor bar, walk
it over, so muted by the kitchen
a good humor bar, and scratches the back of my head
              like you would a dog that you
                raised, trained, all that
i'm being treated, churring! smiling!

still, like a pitiful dumb beast i love you
all, if you will, dried up and done
and the bar sits at the desk
and melts like a tongue
on tongue

---

send me spinning over the big ol moon
ho ho man, so bright.
five things i could change
baby you're like a big ol moon
and i'm a spaceship orbiting your orbit, yo

i'm the entire alphabet of love
i'm at the back of the party
without contact**neither hanging
clut  ching
some lucky night, my memories
will dissolve

sun, even, goes

---

men content with the idea
oh bim bom zow
cymbals

the long sweetness of times stretch like taffy
sweet taffy
salt ocean
rock poem
fried chicken
yummy poem

good for all of the senses
look at it
smell, it
taste it
hear, and even fear it
spring of 19 joys and secrets
achhoooo!
and god bless you

but me being afraid as a child always

winter full of the blows
hush, dude,
and take slow
  achievement at the height of my power
when i speak real content
shit forget it

---

dead january sole geometry
sold it with a brush and cane
frailty, missingno, mystery mail thief,
  adjoining there in the wood corner lane
killing mockingbirds and hear
the all too common locust

and greek as in the noise
powerhouse of flesh and of fiber
take a piss anywhere you want
but having to walk the same paths

moving nearer it is the opposite of dark
and i'm a bit drunk
think of you
and hack away into the night
     caaaaaaackle

---

i'm with you
all
night
l  ong
and even
the window
drowns

i pass
a cherry
evening now
from cross
the street
now how
many times
have i
told you
what are
you gonna
  have to eat?
on the bright
she sits legs
crossed
smokes and cries
of flames hissing
strong stoves

jumps out too
in that hairdo

-----

what for?
what good is a rotten case
good here?
guess i do loook
kind of funny
curt?
she marries
yea   i married you
eat yr supper become
sizzling ( sizzling noises )
  clatter of a restaurant full of men
you can stay and a high pitched voice
gold beans, hey
marshall, the man
i'm looking for,
he comes from behind the bar
reading up territorial law
being feinting ill, next time
he sets foot in this town
officer, arrest who?
you mean,
Liverty Valance?

take it e -z baybee
poor red fingers
torn knuckle 2 knuckle
splish splash
sound of dishes being washed
the sound of a typewriter makes
being typed on
a cap! starred, four to be
           exact,
gear grinding, sat
the poet, yukking it up
in Spanish

w/ a box full of chickens and turkeys
outside to my BMW

 'I would really like
to be a part of the people
that cracks down on these frauds'

speing subsides
spring, i meant to type
spring subsides

what the hell was
        that noise?
what if a giant bug
beb, just came out of the ceiling
one night and just pulled me up
beb?
when was the last
time i wrote of spring
probably last spring
reader don't mind

zebra condensation on glass orange coaster flecks of wood table
that sentence let me tap the glass
with the carriage!
sound sound it sounded
like, ding!

lake of the fall
I'm that know-it-all
of the true straight street
there on that window peak
hurts too
hurts to do

mr grovernor wheelden
settled with his opinion
trees try gaps that far
breezing in sedan car

used to be asleep
finding it all over me
likely, I was so young
brought lives in and sung

O, go west the tv said
I do what the television says
it says blame fools
it says deep pool

on monday night I laid awake
thinking of a double take
apple cider crew
bud that was to you

lovingly I stay awake
clutching cigs and all her shakes
goddamn fools
goddamn deep pools

justify that unchained dog
yelping after a log
I stay put
I watch that mutt

used to hallucinate fanfare
shower drain I dig out hair
hard white walls
long black halls

settling into sun rays
secrets of it on nova played
police storms
I pass safe and warm

good poem, good poem

what kid of writing a loud mout
h trouble scaped i
n the grudges of a mammal we said
we coudldn't eat
it was carnivorous

trouble thing with mouths
sis that is that exact
put these smokes in my lips
bite on the butt
bite butts
big and sk
butts (shit also
trouble with months)

(shit
   tired

when the light gets dark

that first line the first line
of a Dan Yorty song

he came over w/ a six
pack of pabst
to my apt
and fixed
my spot lights,
being
so adept
at lighting

last rolling
rock
to make it
down
the hill I
see her, man,
and hide
always hiding
I think

I love
her or everything else
left to say
amounts to hey
remember this
a sticky photo
I pull

from a box from the dust
of my parent's home
I don't like to throw my letters
away I say No! Keep those

(O, if I had the mind
              and love to
spare)

I wouldn't be
sitting

besides mosquitoes
I wouldn't be
in

delayed hurt
got to submit
a food stamp
I've got to tag
all these responders

and non-responders
read fast and go past closing time
write rhymes occasionally
still I dream of Songs

I can't write to anything else

He brought records and the first
one he put on
didn't sound
quite right
the needle
must be bust
ed
I grow
bigger

the train ride
the hot train ride
the dirty insulated vines

O, O
I sing

of a pale forehead
and
my one sin

poem for no one but myself

four white lives robbed

off marking an iphone

in my long pants

pocket

things need mending

regardless how invincible

I feel riding the

trenton

gotta get off

gotta get off on

see the broken walls

everywhere --

I smell plastic

anywhere I go

I'm sensitive to

my thoughts of

smells of her

or her

affinity w/ smells

I sicken myself

laying at the

wheel the

morning she

decided to get out

and go -- 

-- the middle

America gained

150 lbs or so and

greater musicality

months months

go by the same

bass line repeating

the same walgreens

at the top of the

marble steps

same womanly giggles

same hat

same floral

platform same?

I am some

terrifying that

distortion resonates.

mens room lines --

there a phone

sits -- I wait

and cannot

comprehend the

sensitivities of

the district and all

involved parties.

I see a man

carrying his home

in a fucking bag

I tweak my

leather laces.

I see him arrive in

a fenced off

crook full of barbs

man

no rain protection

no zazen

food. selfish me.

poem for bee

be august it'll be over --
by then, the tickle
settles in my throat.
I'm so ' appreciative
of the water
and of bellies.

I get bit. I get
frustrated w/ my work
work being an extension
of life, shit.
it is powerful/painful to
admit, even none w/
being dishonest in
writing.

Save yrself, bee.
By the lake. there
sits houses. empty,
Am I outside, there
a muggy summer night!
I see a light on.
I see movements.
I smell the earth
and the flight
paths of insects
around me.
I step forward and
get pricked.

But of course I don't
remain standing in the
middle of the
wood, w/ nothing to
drink and eat.
I want to go inside.
Turn off
the light.

poem for this date 7/12

poem while
crescendos of
exodus from
underground
commences --
hollow steps and
speed lines
riff riff riff
line line train
new employ trenton
over roof of cars
out of neo-
torresdale
if it may ever exist
it isn't a taiko
nor is it loud enough
to disturb
the ride of someone
else on the
trenton train
be straightforward
and furrow and
be bright
be out for final
inspection please
                   no pls
hold a trailpass
in yr teeth
and continue writing
being looked at
by pretty girl
on the other side
of the aisle --
perhaps
as requiem kills
poem last occasion,
is all falsehoods
building, wreaking
havoc
like clown hungry

is the left leg shorter
that would be a shame
or just find myself
never quite on balance
(and the same)
when I sit
shine assessment
not a rookie I
couldn't care to assure
too carefree
around the spikes.
I singe hearing in the
home and streets
I'm home
there is no harm in rain
no love either in
up stares
no june there in the
giggle behind you.

The Letter is false.
I seethed inwardly.
or rear again
how I am to face my brothers
or to keel over, as an anxious mountain
has ended
too late

often I sat
on the bench and waited
much for nothing,
as she has not contacted me in
many months I wonder
how much in love
she is

brother, I can write to her
saying that you died,
so that she may come quickly

because he's dark the following
morning
and if Heaven is kind
will return some day
looking around,
transfixing the future
begging for alms for food

the woman ladled out a measure of the best wine
and until the end I try not to forget
smile, sometimes, even then
with a drop hanging on my chin
tickles me

I remember then
I had not been wrong
in my choices

I'll muster my lanterns tonight
in the middle of the fifth lunar
month, drink it down
the illness over

7613 i guess

aw man aw MAN

didn't catch it before but, gee (so her)

that's who she reminded me of

bent over

a drum

i think it is that little fist of a nose

with wrist bent ready to bop

the brilliant teeth out of that smile

                                                     or

maybe it's the short hair

a dear beagle to someone died

and so on their fb they've become that beagle

birthday poem also for ryan eckes (in regards to sean taras's birthday poem for ryan eckes)

got 90 day review. on advanced track says they. got raise. 25 more cents than normal raise says they. bought lots of clothes. bought many pitchers last night for people. didn't give shit. met kate flannery. called her "ma'am". kate flannery says to me 'don't call me ma'am!" in light-hearted manner. put arm around kate flannery. took pic with kate flannery. got drunk w/ other poets/girls/girl poets. also was ryan eckes post-bday celebration. sang first lyric of some song over and over, "if you feel like lovin' me, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo". ian left, despite my protests. jess, drunk, tired of waiting for ryan, left. frank, in beautiful emerald shirt, works hard. i point out to ryan several times, "frank works so hard". "it's his job", ryan says, drunk. outside with julia smoking. she sort of looked like my julia. told her this while making fun of my julia, no longer my julia. could not compare the two julias. several men walk by pointing to st. francis on wall saying "that's roosevelt!". made ryan finish all beers, even beb's beer. brandon invites me to read something sometime. other brandon tells me mike taras took up boxing, to which we both agreed suited him in ways. round 12th and mifflin. his company uses timecycle. but brother brandon left way earlier. got order of events mixed. outside, see alina on brandon, exchange numbers in hopes to get pokemans. everyone mumbles. i mumble something and leave with beb, singing, "if you feel like lovin' me, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. . ."

+ Trenton + car + car

+ Eclectic Factory +
minus some letters
+ Yumegiwa Last Boy +
a memory of Juliette +
her at her laptop
clacking + a cigarette
in her hand --does she
smoke even? Likely no,
likely not in the
house, her sister's?
+ all the deadlines
I've missed + the
promises + Ryan Eckes (
what is he doing?)
+ beb + mall santa dance,
that she never does
anymore + everything I do
is ten times cuter
+ car + car + car

plus the snarling look
of disgust on Chloe's face
+ I Love Ugly clothing +
lack of eye contact on
12th st + flea market
+ status pattern +
prada + prada + gucci +
his dark ass lips +
a match + a cigarette
+ a ride to work
w/ whatever business
casual I could muster,
the manuscript?
for Otis? For Rae?
"manic insouciance"
that was what was said,
didn't much care for it
all after that + night
email from Matt Kremer,
telling me to make my
mind my redeemer +
he could've been drunk
+ you never know can
you? the last
twenty centuries +
Flirting Scholars +
Rogue Scholars +
Father's Day +
car + car + car

Bourbon Station
here I come!
+ new pen + Florsheim
+ obscure Norwegian
polo + british khaki
+ green vintage
blazer from upstate
NY, not Newburgh +
everyone in upstate
NY shits on Newburgh,
says beb during car ride
through to Cornwall +
it is low income they
all say + I looked at
it when I drove through --
it looked like
5th St in North Philly
a bit, cept no
viet businesses +
it was a quick drive thru
+ we had somewhere
to be. like outlaws.
+ car +
car +
car

+ drum machine +
no matter how hard
one tries

+ James Gandolfini died.
At least he died in
Italy, Nicky says,
but I just think, one
night in bed, that
his family would just
have to pay extra to
move his body back to
Jersey. That is, if
they wanted him
buried there. And
why not?
+ it seems right,
right?

in quiet mode
in my under wear
in front of the
mini fan

wingyi forgets deadline, dreads not graduating

you missed a deadline
everyone has
pat pat
glad everything's okay

what was the reason
you missed it?
just plum
forgot?

we can remind ourselves
by different means
but you can't fix forgetting
by that I mean the act of forgetting

of course you will
keep on chuggin' youse
in the meantime
will write poem about this

otis 1

my unemployment benefits cease(d)
i used to claim them online, like, every sunday
that was life, more or less,
i dragged my computer around like an ape.

then someone came
out of the light they stood.
as to what brought 'em there i did not know
naturally, i asked, what brought you here?

I came for your sake, which is enough.
and now I am leaving,
with or without.

Juror 17

feet
where are my feet
squaw squaw
a flutter in the street
leaving me aching,
undelivered and all,

Juror 17 was a real treat
I puff away at one
in the bathroom of
city hall.
"Well, I can be
very empathetic."

and all the
attorneys simultaneously
jot,
     black waves
then back to yr smile
        energetic

"17!"
I cried
out.

A Neil Poem

by Neil Schaaf

Don't overcome
don't find peace
don't find paradise
not on the mountain
but in the city
live with the derelict
at home with the filth
you are here to suffer
don't escape your suffering
Eat the shit, taste the shittiness

whole thread

was I like an office
that and meds
I'll take it from there
my then position

the pond frog cannot contemplate the oceans
how can I understand the universe?
or Juliette's poems?
or a vat of vinegar?

can we mirror heaven
only through strict ritual
I bethought
"do not foll."

I'ma go have a smoke and think it over.

"fwd-operating-base:  this striving for tone of "manic insouciance" -- I can see/hear the striving. Certain lack of discipline in terms of stringent writing that is somewhat interesting, but then not.  I wanted to like these poems, but in the end couldn't."

shut

no head
for theory      ing
just poetry

up

no, baby

ideas fell down beside you
major flowers not knowing
what they are

invading me with their perfumes
I am blue from inside out
drawn til dawn

all things organic accumulate
in strange breaking skies
grumbling my name

Wednesday in those arms myself
Spring tiger germinates
open straying abandon

the wood-road resembles you
long local women drag boulders
and weep and still cannot compare